Tags dating , internet dating , low standards , online dating , triple threat , six feet tall , hair , height , job , business , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I got 9, responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile.

All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair Triple threat! Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science.

View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most. Woman: What exactly are you measuring?

Dilbert: Asks too many questions. Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business. View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little. Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships.

View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? That's my girlfriend!

Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn. View Transcript Transcript ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots.

dilbert: including you, it's six. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now.

Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off. Tags app store , created app , dream killer , first name , free apps , madonna , sell a million , mother , Family. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free.

Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna? Tags computer software , free software , run slow , upgrades , office , cubicles , free. View Transcript Transcript Dogbert: Want some free software? Boss: What's it do? Dogbert: All it does is beg you for upgrades. And if you upgrade, then it begs you to upgrade again and so on. And it makes all of you other software run slow. Boss: And it's free?

Free Comic Strips Search. Search Filters Year Character Dilbert Dogbert The Boss Wally Alice Asok Catbert Carol Ratbert Ted Tina Bob the Dinosaur Elbonians The Garbageman Dilmom CEO Robot Phil Mordac Topper Company Lawyer Finance Troll. Sort by: Relevance Relevance Newest to Oldest Oldest to Newest. Wednesday February 04, Free Will Is An Illusion. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can. Email Comic Share on Facebook Tweet Share on LinkedIn Comments 0 Buy.

Tags business ethics , free will , robot , robotics , technology , emotionally manipulate , cloud connected , control humans View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades.

Top Dilbert Searches marketing , project , cloud , catbert , leadership , budget , birthday , engineer , time sheet , sales , wally , strategy , dogbert , powerpoint , project management , topper , leader , boss , change , meeting , data , management , mordac. Thursday August 20, Dilbert Has Free Will. Tags free will , crime , invention , murder , control , self control , guilt , innocence View Transcript Transcript Police Officer: Halt!

Thursday September 22, Tags joking , questioning , feel free , questions , ghosts have clothes , wedgie View Transcript Transcript Boss: Are there any questions? Tuesday October 04, Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit.

And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake. Tags anger , annoyance , online class , improve charisma , stupid fake charisma , weird. View Transcript Transcript Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me.

I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird. Tags acquaintances , gadgets , online stalking victim , social media app , friends. View Transcript Transcript Alice: I wrote a social media app that can tell me how many friends other people have.

App: Zero friends one nemesis nine online stalking victims Wally: Are you double-counting my stalking victims? Some of them are also acquaintances. Tags dogberts tech support , online data base , compatible , computer , software , red blotches , poison ivy , technology , engineering.

View Transcript Transcript DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk using a computer. He says into the phone, "According to my online database, our product isn't compatible with your computer. Tags new sex symbols , online personals , tech prowness , moonlit walks , must like to dance , applicants. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert sits on the couch using a laptop and Dogbert stands on the armrest.

Dogbert says, "Men who understand technology are the new sex symbols.

View 1 - 10 results for dating comic strips. Discover the best "Dating" comics from Dilbert. Tags dating , internet dating , low standards , online dating , triple threat , six feet tall , hair , height , job , business , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I got 9, responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job.

Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair Triple threat! Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science. View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most. Woman: What exactly are you measuring?

Dilbert: Asks too many questions. Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business.

View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little. Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships. View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app.

Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? That's my girlfriend! Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn. View Transcript Transcript ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true?

ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds. Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact. Tags dating , ice cream , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors.

Dilbert is holding an ice cream cone. Dilbert says, "I can remember when these were only fifteen cents. Tags car , dating , eyes , lucky , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs.

Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads? Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct. Tags dilbert's , ego , porsche , woman , Dilbert , dating , bar.

View Transcript Transcript Dogbert: Nice toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene. Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche? Dilbert's Ego: It's red But enough about me. Tags Dilbert , Dogbert , dating , problem , writing , down , qualities , girlfriend , ballerina , paw , cramping. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We have to approach your dating problem logically.

Dilbert says, ". And she must be a ballerina. marketing , project , cloud , catbert , leadership , budget , birthday , engineer , time sheet , sales , wally , strategy , dogbert , powerpoint , project management , topper , leader , boss , change , meeting , data , management , mordac.

Dating Comic Strips Search. Search Filters Year Character Dilbert Dogbert The Boss Wally Alice Asok Catbert Carol Ratbert Ted Tina Bob the Dinosaur Elbonians The Garbageman Dilmom CEO Robot Phil Mordac Topper Company Lawyer Finance Troll. Sort by: Relevance Relevance Newest to Oldest Oldest to Newest. Wednesday December 31, Dilbert Does Online Dating.

Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can. Email Comic Share on Facebook Tweet Share on LinkedIn Comments 0 Buy. Tags dating , internet dating , low standards , online dating , triple threat , six feet tall , hair , height , job , business , relationships View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I got 9, responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile.

View more books now. Monday January 05, Dating Is A B Testing. Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Wednesday May 11, Company Policy About Dating.

Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Friday October 06, Ceo Uses Dating App. Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app.

Thursday March 28, Dating A Unicorn. Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn View Transcript Transcript ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. Friday March 09, Monday April 17, Tags dating , ice cream , relationships View Transcript Transcript Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Friday June 16, Tags car , dating , eyes , lucky , relationships View Transcript Transcript Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs.

Friday November 16, Tags dilbert's , ego , porsche , woman , Dilbert , dating , bar View Transcript Transcript Dogbert: Nice toupee. Wednesday November 13, Tags Dilbert , Dogbert , dating , problem , writing , down , qualities , girlfriend , ballerina , paw , cramping View Transcript Transcript Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table.

Top Dilbert Searches marketing , project , cloud , catbert , leadership , budget , birthday , engineer , time sheet , sales , wally , strategy , dogbert , powerpoint , project management , topper , leader , boss , change , meeting , data , management , mordac.

What's the worst thing that could happen? It buuurrrrnsss!. You let us continue hiding in your house, and Bob won't hungrily devour you. And it makes all of you other software run slow. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur and Dawn the Dinosaur, ". View Transcript Transcript Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Triple threat!

Categories:

• Dating apps
• Best dating
• Dating sites
• Free apps
• Dating website